This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
