I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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