I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
