I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
