hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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