your room smells of hookers.
And success
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
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