how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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