i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
