Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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