if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
