We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Never joke about your clitoris.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
