do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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