You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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