I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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