is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
