The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
