Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I could make wine with my vomit
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
