So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dicks are not precious.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
