is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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