There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
