Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
