We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
