this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
