You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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