We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Less talking, more tequila
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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