Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
