clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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