She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
