Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
