How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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