i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
