I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
