Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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