he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
