I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
