At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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