Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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