i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
