I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
