chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
