How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
