You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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