i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
