living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
