i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
