i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
