3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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