Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
