How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
