So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
