Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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