i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
