I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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