i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
